ECLIPSE ::: the Review

Lastnight myself, my 14 y.o., my sister, my mother and my friend went to see Eclipse at 8 pm. I have to admit I was a little bummed I had to wait ALL DAY for my Edward fix but fix me, HE DID! We left for the movie an hour early to drive about 6 minutes to the theater and there was absolutely NO line and we were the first ones to enter the theater, meaning we got the best seats. (Everyone KNEW the movie came out yesterday, right? Why the emptiness?)

There were MEN coming into the theater with their wives/girlfriends/friends with benefits...cuz YOU KNOW they were promised some if they went to this movie with them! No man, in their right mind, would go without a reward. When I asked Boobs to go, I couldn't even get the question out before he denied me. He's just jealous.

During the previews, I got upset because they took forever, delaying my eyecandy, but also because I was proven wrong by my mother: Harry Potter doesn't come out until November. DAMMIT! Also, I kept getting the trivia questions wrong. But to ease my broken ego I just ate more popcorn (not as much as my growing teen inhaled) and tore into my contraband peanut m&m's (I'm a rebel.)

FINALLY it began. I was a little disappointed in Edward's bushy sideburns but other than that, HE WAS PERFECT, as was to be expected.

Bella, I noticed, has abnormally large 'chicklet' front teeth...maybe she really wants to be turned into a vampyre so that her teeth even out.


Alice was wearing the cutest necklace. But, if it's anything like Edward's leather cuff, it'll be too expensive & I'll get sad just for googling it.
Also, Jasper, your hair, creepy! WTH?! It did get worse, no?? Alice really needs to help him out. Get his mane cut, get him lip implants & seriously, unhinge that jaw. It was painful to watch him talk. He was sorta like a ventriloquist. And slightly pedophile-like. Gross.
I did notice that Rosalie has perfect heart-shaped lips but needs anger management. All the people in La Push have a great dentist who seriously hearts teeth whitening. Jacob made me LOL but still has a large beak that got all smushed up on Bella's face when they had their 2nd kiss (yuck)--- which was quickly followed by Bella thinking "OH SNAP! what did I just do?!" (But no worries Edward, she loves you more...of course, duh.) But still, well played Bella, well played. Victoria was replaced...I had to be told this b/c I hardly noticed, what, with me all sorta zoning out between the Edward scenes. And the best part: the hot make-out scene between Edward & Bella when she tries, unsuccessfully, to DO IT with Edward.



Edward: "why are you trying to take your clothes off?"
Bella: "do you want to do it?"

LOL! She needed to try harder, I think. But enough of the foreplay already!! Yeah, he's old school, which should be a good thing, but I'm modern and want to see some human on vampire action!! (Breaking Dawn can't come soon enough.)I hope they show it, but they won't b/c then it won't be PG13 and the teens would riot. (kids ruin everything)

So there was lots of inner dialog going on in my head the whole time but mostly I was thinking "yum" "delicious" "hot" "i love you" "omg" "wish i was bella" "oh yeah"... you get the idea.

Now I just reread Breaking Dawn & wait for the movie, wait for my Edward decal in the mail, buy the movies so I have something to hold me over and daydream about me & Edward in the meadow...