2020: Sobriety Journey

Wow! It's been 10 years since I wrote here & so much has happened. More on that later. Right now I am nursing a massive hangover with chicken Ramen noodles & a Bud light. I am feeling sick AF. It's time to make a change & grow up. I am having surgery on my left knee next week for a meniscus root tear. I am so overweight that I am actually worried about blowing out my good knee while it's supporting all of my 225-230lbs during the 6 weeks non weight bearing post-op. Never too late to change. "Anything's possible while your heart's still beating" - somebody said that but I'm too dizzy to look it up. My dad passed away 1-26-18 from heart disease & complications of diabetes. I also found out recently that my mom has been on blood pressure meds "for years." Hello genes, I haven't been helpful...until now. First step: gag down this beer, pop aspirin, go back to bed & not think about the fact that I've so not been living my best life...until now. Well, actually when I have my second morning in a few hours...hopefully. Hopefully I will feel mucho better then. I'm too old, I'm too tired, I'm too fuckin... fuckin drunk. #atmylowest? #heaviestihaveeverbeen #onlygetsbetterfromhere #onwardsandupwards

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It Comes From Within

So I went to the dentist AGAIN today and read a magazine in the waiting room. There was an article about a couple who had grown apart over the years and didn't know how it happened. The woman was repeatedly telling her husband that she felt unimportant . She explained how she never did anything for herself and hadn't done some things that she enjoyed doing since before her and her husband were married. She asked her kids what mommy did the most and they said, "the laundry." (not exactly a legacy!) Then the woman went on to explain how she blamed her husband for her unhappiness. The expert gave a detailed response, but the one thing she said that really stood out to me was how the woman was unhappy because the woman was unhappy ... it really didn't have anything to do with him. She no longer did the things she had liked to do. What did she expect?! When her and her husband were dating she was spontaneous and exciting and the two of them explored things together. No...

This Can't Be Happening!

Will is already old enough to play tee ball!! OH MY WORD!! I remember "walkin' the mile" while in labor, secretly wishing that it was over and done with and my child was already walking and talking and no late nights and loss of sleep would be suffered. I regret that now b/c it happened. He's walking: check. He's talking: check. He's gonna be 5 in less than 2 months: check. Just signed him up for tee ball: double check. This just can't be happening. The time went too fast. I'm not ready to give him up for school either. That's like 6 whole hours in the day that he will be somewhere else, like not with me, like: uncheck! I don't likey. I supposed I could homeschool him??....but let's not fool anyone here...I love my son but I don't want to be the sole person responsible for his smarts and knowledge and stuff like that. I only have an associates degree in general studies...C'MON PEOPLE! I am also realizing that with Will being gone 6 ...

Thankful to NOT be in the Army! (part 1)

I haven't blogged in 4EVER b/c someone has been sick in this house for the last 10 days and right now, it's me. Joy. Anywho, Emily wants me to write 100 things about her but I can't think that hard this morning...although I will do 1. She farts ALL THE TIME! and 2. She really is SUPER DUPER funny! I'll do the rest later. So it's the most wonderful time of the year and I've already done 80% of my shopping throughout the year so, I'm totally ahead of the game and liking it. People are scrambling around trying to find what they're looking for or trying to decide WHAT they're looking for while I am smuggly enjoying browzin! I am always left with the kids stocking stuffers. I try to keep those gifts as random as possible (more fun that way; for me, not necessarily for them). And this time of year always reminds me of my experience in the Army... I remember the BEST christmas-time I ever had...I was in the Army and was desperately trying to get out. I knew...

Talking Out My Yipper

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