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Sadness Crept In - iphone note rant April 13th

Yesterday was... well... depressing ? I can't quite put my finger on the feelings I have. I slept the day away after lunch and woke up feeling so tired. How is that possible?! Then it quite literally rained on our back yard fire parade and I honestly thought, while quickly gathering up our stuff, big shocker. It was disappointing and honestly it just got in line with all the other disappointments of the last month. I came in, dropped the stuff and then just took another seat. All this sitting and I'm still so tired. I thought I put my finger on it last night when I told a friend that my overall feeling is one of LONGING. Webster says that's a yearning desire, to desire something very much. Yeah. I guess so. This morning I wake up and I am instantly annoyed and I angrily go through the motions of yet another day at home: feed the dog, let her out, take medicine, start the coffee, turn my desk calendar that's now on my bistro table, open the curtains to more crappy weather, scroll Facebook and feel guilty of all the Easter celebrations because we honestly didn't do much different than the day before, look at my empty email inbox, look at zero notifications on Instagram, look at zero sales on Etsy, look at the pile of books I have no desire to read, yell at my dog to stop licking her leg and think to myself, 'today, i'm gonna shower, eat lunch and nap' which is basically what I do everyday...basically. I went out for the first time in a month to do a drive-by for my niece's birthday Saturday as well as delivered earrings and while being completely car sick the entire time, I was shocked at just how many people were out and about! Entire families walking into Dollar General. Kids hugging other kids in the street. Large gatherings of people not 6 feet apart and I wondered why I'd been home for a month and things are sorta normal out here. I thought I would witness a ghost town. I thought it was gonna be the Oregon Trail out there. It looked the same. I did not go in anywhere so I'm sure that's different but the roads were just as busy as Friday the 13th when I last drove around town. The restaurant parking lots, TJMaxx parking lot and Kohl's parking lots were all but empty. See? Now I'm just rambling about things even I don't get. My friend from MI said they can't finish a part of their house because the areas of the store with those supplies are roped off. What the hell is happening up there?! Then again, people will just find a way. I mean will Amazon close eventually? Can't you buy paint on Amazon?

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