A Whole Year...Just Like That

I guess I expected more out of today...I expected Em to be totally broken and falling apart since today is the one year anniversary of her mom's death (that's my stepdaughter's mom). She did ask me if she really had to go to school and I didn't make her. I wanted to give Em some alone time at the house so, when I took Will to school I went to Panera with my computer. I said not to kill the cats or break the tv...other than that have at it: scream, kick, cuss... Before I came home I asked Em if she wanted anything and she said she was craving a McDonald's Coke...that I can deliver!

So my computer took forever to shut down and there was a line in the bathroom and then there was traffic and then red lights and then the lane was ending so I sped to get in front (of course) of the line of traffic. While I take first place I see county has someone pulled over uphead but then I see lights flashing in my rear view mirror so I assume he's county's backup and I keep driving, slowly. But he passes them! WHAT?! I was NOT officer I SWEAR!

He comes to my window and I'm crying already. I guess I'm more stressed out than I let myself believe. I tell him what's up and he doesn't care. The only grace he gave me was NOT an e-ticket (hence the reason I called my bro-n-law who's a cop winkwink). So I'm bawling as I drive on...

Yesterday I found out that my Granny is sick. She's been having stomach pains for 2 weeks and finally went to the doctor who rushed her to a ct scan. Results are not good: she has free floating fluid in her abdomen which is causing her stomach to pooch out abnormally (I have that too I showed her and she laughed), a tumor on her ovaries, nodules in her lungs and her liver looks bad. These are all symptoms that point to cancer but she has to have a fluid draw in 2 days to find the source of the problem. If the source is her girlie parts -GREAT- they can be removed...she's not using them anyway. If it's her lungs, stomach or liver then -NOT GREAT- she has to breathe, digest food, and well, I'm pretty sure a liver is important. She's already talking about not taking chemo treatments due to watching her sister, Lethie, die of ovarian cancer and she had chemo for over a year and never got better, just sicker. She said she'd rather go see Jesus sooner anyhow because she knows her mom and dad are gonna be right there behind Him. Talk about tearing my heart out!



So today has sucked super hard core...except I got photoshop in the mail and Will isn't scared of his bike this year. I suppose I could take pictures of him riding it while doing drive-bys on our neighbors with his new green gun and photoshop the hell out of them...because Brian is taking Em out tonight, just the two of them. Not to "celebrate" but just...cuz...well, she needs something deep fried and smothered in chocolate...and you know what? So do I...I'm gonna call my sister...