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Battle of the Will


So I got to spend another day fighting tooth and nail for the power with my 4 year old, Will. It's like he just thinks he can do whatever, whenever he wants. I'll just call his name, and I know he can hear me, and he just doesn't answer me. I seriously have to get loud for him to acknowledge me. And then he says things back to me like "it's not nice to yell mawmaw" or "I'm not your friend anymore." What the hell do I say to that?! Usually I say something sarcastic like "big shocker" but how is that helpful?? Its not and I know it but its hard trying to teach him a lesson while I'm exhausted and brain dead. Especially after going at it with him day in and day out, and my husband hasn't been home a lot with his new job...so its just me. Even when I ask him who the boss is...he says me but then that doesn't mean anything to him, apparently.

And he is obsessed with Playstation right now. He can literally play it for hours and all day if I let him; which I have because the flu has run its course through this house and we're all tired. But it is easier for him to sit in front of the tv because then he isn't cluttering the house with his toys, that I would have to help him pick up later. He just sits in there and plays quietly. But that's not good. He needs to interact more with me but 9 times out of 10 I've had it up to here (pointing over my head) and I don't want to. I feel like a bad mom.

Then, he NEVER wants to eat dinner. He either complains that he doesn't like what I've made... which I've never ever made for him so how would he know. Or he tells me that it isn't good... which also isn't true b/c I didn't become overweight by eating crap that didn't taste good! Or he'll take 2 bites and say he's full. He'll then try to reason with me for what seems like hours until eventually I say take 2 more bites and you can be done. I want to rip my hair out...not b/c he doesn't eat; but because right before bed is when he wants to eat because by then he IS hungry! And then the guilt starts to set in. How can I send my boy to bed hungry...it's just not right. So, I make him something which takes him an hour to eat and we end up getting to bed close to midnight. AAAAgggghhhhh!
Most nights by 7pm I don't have any fight left in me. I'm too tired to argue or lay down the law. I can't even think up any answers or comebacks better than "because I said so." Sometimes I sit and wonder what this is doing to my kid, mentally. Is he gonna be some whiney frat boy who's mean to others and expects everything to come his way?? I sure hope not. I'd like to think he would spend his time serving the poor and less fortunate like serving in a soup kitchen remembering those nights long ago when his poor mother, bless her heart, MADE him eat food when "there were starving kids in Africa!!"

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